one thing off my wishlist

just happy that after all the wishing, and waiting i finally got it. technically it's not mine but for the whole family.
finally got our own digicam!! (see post re: wishlist) i love our cam!! i'm thinking of a good name to call it to make it really personal.

no more excuses that i don't have enough pics of the kids. time to exploit them while they're young hehehe and when they grow up they can cringe and be embarrassed when they see their pics. (time to get even? i went through that too and with 4 big albums to prove it. haha)

i'm happy at least there's one thing off my wishlist. :)

hey i'm still here!!! miss blogging about my life and kids, but it's much better being with the kids everyday than blogging and being online.

i guess i'm making up for those times that i got home late and the kids are sleeping.

but i sure have a lot to blog about but i can't guarantee that i'll be blogging about the past. i'd rather not dwell on those anymore since i've moved on and i'd prefer to blog about what's going on right now.

my kids are growing up everyday. kyle can now converse in sentences with a little sprinkle of gibberish. keon can now call out if he wants attention and he knows what he wants.

back to making those jewelries again, but haven't started selling them. have to go back to quiapo for more. all i got left now are beads and i've got tons of ideas for them. ple, sama ka ha? :D

friends!!! i miss you!! send some love, text, email, etc. (although at the moment, i can't text back, forgot to pay the bill. hehehe - that's what i get for spending a lot of time with the kids that i get to forget other adult "responsibilities"

anyway, back to mommy duties.

hibernation

indeed i was. a lot has transpired the past few weeks that i didn't get to blog about it at all. there were good days, there were worse days but those worse days, amazingly turned for the best. god does work really sneaky. and yes i am happy that he snuck up on me or else i would be, let's just say, blinded and "tainted" by what's around me. and with a big sigh of relief, i say: THANK GOD!!

i'm not going to dwell into all the details that transpired, it's all water under the bridge for me, but for sure, someone i know still has a very big stick stuck up where the sun don't shine. if that makes you happy, then fine, i'm not going to be part of that, not at all. i have principles you know. let's just see what happens after.

or... maybe one day when i'm in my ranting mode, i'll spill all the beans and see who gets to react about it! yeah! that would be fun!! hahahaha

but for now, i'm staying positive because i'm with people who are far better human beings than others. so there.

sometimes i believe in horoscopes

The Bottom Line

Your engine is all revved up, but there's no place to go today. Expect no progress.

In Detail

Your engine is all revved up, but there's really no place for you to go today ... all projects are moving forward nicely, and the people in your life are doing well. There will be no frantic phone calls or calls for your sage advice. So what to do with all this energy and time? Spend it on yourself! This is a great day to go off on your own and do whatever makes you feel connected to the world. If the weather permits, take a nice long walk -- and bring along some of your favorite music.

most definitely, people in my life are doing well. i'm glad. :)

~~

and i may not say this often verbally, but aishi, thank you for not being judgemental. even if i do bash you here in my blog. you don't get mad, still talk to me and still be the nicest person. thank you for understanding and being a person. and with this i gain new confidence to continue writing, because you and the kids are all that matter...

chick lit

eversince i hung out one time at powerbooks and read the book, i was hooked. and now i can't wait to get all the copies. i miss buying books

and now it's a tv series! hehe

i heart Gossip Girl.

this is not another stardust movie review

because everybody who watched has already blogged about the movie and what they thought of it. i mean, any neil gaiman fan would say they loved the book and read it a million times like i did and loved the movie considering there were a few scenes in the book not included in the movie and some characters weren't there.

so no, i'm not going to do that. and i'm no film critic. i'm just going to put in what i liked:

>personally, i think someone could play a much better role of yvaine than claire danes. and no, i'm not harboring any ill feelings toward her behavior about us pinoys.
>robert de niro is to die for!! a really different twist to cap'n shakespeare. ahlavet!!
>michelle pfeiffer = hot! now that's the way to age. one hot/smoking witch!
>did you notice rupert everett there? he's one of the 7 brothers.
>sir ian mckellen as the narrator. perfect!
>tristran looked way cuter when his hair got styled by mr. de niro

overall, i had a blast watching the movie. even aishi, who i've been pressuring to read the book loved the movie. although he still won't read the book.

i also found the song/vid of the song that was playing when the credits were rolling. and it was a surprise. buhay pa pala ang take that! hahaha boy band moments ito. hahaha

The song while the credits roll

rambling again

thank god for music to calm me down...

i thought i was going to have the greatest day, but then come afternoon it just went pffft. just like that.

but as they say, there's always a silver lining. i just have to go find it hiding among the clouds.

~

i just can't keep all my feelings bottled up inside me. where else can i vent out but here in my blog. does that make me a bad person?

i'm not pleasing anybody here because this is my blog. i didn't make this blog to be popular and talked about, i just wanted a venue to let out my feelings and thoughts. because before i kept it all inside and where did i end up? more sad, depressed and destructive, when i write what i feel, after publishing my entry, i'm ok. i can breathe. i am free.

if that makes me less of a person. then fine. i never asked to be judged.

if anyone got beef, not my problem.

~

there is such a thing as freedom of speech. ask kuya k. :)

ramblings

your stupid mouth will get you in trouble.

and no it's not for me. majority of the time i think before i speak. sorry na lang kung ang masabi ko eh masakit.

deal with it. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

i'm a woman with balls - figuratively.

MRM Nights

kwento to follow. still sleepy and not in the mood to go into the details.

enjoy the pics for now.

MRM Nights @ Purple Haze

i'm quite getting tired of my layout/template. i just want my blog to have a new look and feel. anyone care to share some links? or even help out with the layout?

i'm just bored now..

ranting... again

so, let me see... where do i begin?

you (referring to me - hehe labo) did something in the hopes that in some way or another would get noticed or even recognized for the person concerned but it was acknowledged by the other person.

does this mean, this person's not doing anything at all? or just ignoring this thing i did?

who's at fault here? me, the person who did something or this someone who didn't do anything?

makes you really think that there's something going on that i'm not part of or not being included in. and this should be team effort! the upside here would be all the blame will be on this someone and not on me and the other person i'm with. if and if the blame gets to us too, all hell would break loose. really.

oh, and the backbiting and false stories that are being made right this minute. once you hear the stories you'll hate this someone too.

(ple, remind me to make you kwento about this. as usual it's about D.B. bwahahahaha!! )

bato bato sa langit...
ang mag react... guilty!

turning 26

I meant to write about what happened when I celebrated my 26th birthday but I was caught up with a lot of things that I totally forgot. And well, I didn’t have time to capture it all in pictures. But I’m not complaining. As long as I got to share it with close and new found friends. I am happy.

As incubus said in one of their songs: “and in this moment, I am happy”

And I am.

It may be a big deal for me to turn 26, when I have been very vocal to my friends that I’ll forever remain a 25 year old. I don’t know, maybe I might change my mind along the way and embrace my age.

Why 25 then? I think this is the peak of my existence, where I could do what I want and not being bound by my parents telling me what to do and what not to do. I have a family of my own where my kids are like my playmates, I could still run after them, be a kid like them, really understand what they like and dislike, in a way, know where they are coming from. This is the age where I am really enjoying the money I am earning and sharing it with the people I believe deserve to share what I have. And at 25 I’ve learned a lot.

So I guess there’s no difference in turning 26. Age is just a number. I just chose to stick to the number I like best.

~

I celebrated my birthday a Saturday, sept. 30 a few days before my birthday which fell on a Monday. I invited the usual people – the boys and their gilrs (4L) minus franco and cj. Of course my bestfriend was present, kerol and her hubby bogart, and the officemates I usually hang out with.

The house was packed with the people who came. Aishi prepared his ever famous chili con, hotdog pulutan and some chips. The guests were happy. Booze were overflowing (4 cases of beer methinks and rhum coke for me and ple).

The party ended around 430am. We didn’t even realize that it was that late with all the jokes, chismis, stories. The last people standing were ple and my officemates.

I may not remember all the details and other preps for the party but all I could have in my memories that these people made m birthday really special. I feel loved.

I may not receive any gifts, but isn’t being with the people you love and who love you back, worth more than all the material things you ever wished for?

And of course, aishi was there to make it all the more special. My aishi really took care of me and the preps. Really, what more could I ask for?

I'm going to sit here and wait for what 27 will bring. will you be there when i turn 27?

update: uploaded some pics during my birthday in my multiply

tweet tweet!!

so social media and social networking got the best of me. if you're like me, who's almost always online and talking to people, nudge, poke or add me here:

facebook
twitter
mybloglog

which, you can find the links in my trusty side bar.

let's interact!! chika tayo or whatever! :D

milestones and the art of parenting

my two boys are indeed growing up. each day that i get home from work, i see them doing something new. and it makes my heart burst with so much pride and happiness.

last night, keon was in his crib, the moment he saw us enter the house, he was beaming and babbling. he immediately turned over on his tummy and crawled toward the net of his crib. we were cheering him on for rolling over but i guess his "show" wasn't over, he wen into a kneeling position and tried with his little hands to stand up. and he did! realizing that he was able to do something new, he was laughing and making squealing sounds. he finally stood up last night, with no help at all. at 8 months! amazing!

although he hasn't mastered sitting down, but i guess he's more happy standing up and being mobile when he's in his walker. he could explore his little world.

and where is kyle when this happened? he was cheering his little brother on for his new achievement. i swear these two boys will grow up with a good brother relationship.

oh but the story didn't end there...

kuya kyle was on his cranky moods again and with the constant "no's" with every word.

while his dada was lying on the sofa, tired after a day's work, out of nowhere, kyle threw this mini table thingy which almost hit aishi on his foot. of course i had to reprimand him for his bad behavior that i asked him to apologize to his dada and he'll stay in his corner for some time-out. of course, he didn't apologize, maybe out of pride but he still had to serve time in his corner which he did for about 30 seconds. i talked to him in my clamest voice that what he did was not nice and that he had to say sorry to dada.

i guess what he did sunk in and he was quite hesitant to approach his dad and say sorry. so i just told him to sit beside his dada and just hug him. aishi on the other hand, told him that he did was bad and he almost got hurt, after that he told kyle that he still loves him and he hugged kyle. and then dada and son are friends again.

i'm just happy that when we do reprimand kyle, we don't have to resort to spanking. he's more cooperative when we talk to him. and at a young age, i think he can already understand. but of course, there are and there will be a few lapses along the way because they're still kids and we have to endure another round of disciplinary actions when keon's older.

and the journey to parenthood is still a long road to travel.

i'm just happy i'm not alone and i have aishi with me on this journey. :)

a MRM Production...

i suggest you guys go too and watch how talented my officemates are. :)

YOU ARE INVITED TO A NIGHT OF MUSIC featuring MRM BANDS as well as LEE's DESPEDIDA AND BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION!!!

Feeble - RJ, Lance, Chip
Leaf (english) - Russell
Fuseboxx - Abby Clutario (former employee)
The Haneps - Allen
Outlaws - Tonji
Dahon (tagalog) - Philip
Nimbus Crowd - Paul, Neil, Boyet

With a surprise performance by... itago na lang natin siya sa pangalang Sir D.

FREE ENTRANCE!!!

Come on!!!

October 17, Wednesday
Purple Haze Bar Tomas Morato Q.C.
9:00 pm

See you!! And these guys promise a night of great music!

Support Pinoy Music!!! \m/

the good 'ol days

when everything was not complicated and simple... i miss those. and i'm happy my kids are enjoying that now.




so for now, i'll remember my own happy times :)

something quick

i'm such a photoshop bunny! i heart photoshop kahit na newbie pa lang ako! whee!!

current ym status: stuck in a moment...
a moment of thinking of something worth putting in a brochure. yes, time to flex those thinking muscles and get some creative juices flowing.
go go go for me then!!

are you gulity of being one?

thank you kuya marlon!! this sure made me laugh my socks off my chucks hahaha and no, i ain't no emo kid. never in my life...

enjoy!!

(click on the image to enjoy it's full glory)

seriously?

why feign eloquence and intellect through written discourse with yourself when sometimes it's more simple laying down words that your brain really feels like saying?

just a mental diarrhea :)

ranting... again

sa susunod kasi na mag iinarte, siguraduhin lang na gagawin mo yung mga sinasabi mo. ang daming napeperwisyo eh. sa totoo lang, dahil sa iyo nasira ang araw ko eh.

at minsan matuto naman na intindihin ang sitwasyon, hindi lahat pabor dapat sa iyo. sa tingin mo ba sinasadya namin yun? at hindi lang naman ikaw ang dapat nakakakuha ng attention nila eh, may ibang tao din na gusto silang kasama. pantay pantay lang kayo sa mga mata nila.

pero kung ako ang mamimili, hindi kayo, sa ganyang pag aasal nyo, kahit na sabihin na may bait ka, pero pag nakatalikod naman ang daming sasabihin, wag na lang di ba? anong example yan di ba?

tsaka maawa ka naman sa kasama ko, maaga na nga gumising, papagurin pa para sa wala. bata pa siya eh.

yun lang.

ok na ako :)

tagged!

i've been tagged by cynch (kung nde ako nag blog hop hindi ko ito mapapansin hehe)

so here goes my desktop in the office:

it's a collage of my 2 boy's pictures. makes the work more bearable and sane when i see them. majority of the files there are the ones that need to be categorized. as much as possible i would prefer a bare desktop so that i could see the wallpaper better. blame my oc tendencies, but i want my files in their proper places. less hassle.




A.Upon receiving this tag, immediately perform a screen capture of your desktop. It is best that no icons be deleted before the screen capture so as to add to the element of fun. You can do a screen capture by:
[1] Going to your desktop and pressing the Print Scrn key (located on the right side of the F12 key).
[2] Open a graphics program (like Picture Manager, Paint, or Photoshop) and do a Paste (CTRL + V).
[3] If you wish, you can “edit” the image, before saving it.
B. Post the picture in your blog. You can also give a short explanation on the look of your desktop just below it if you want. You can explain why you preferred such look or why is it full of Icons, things like that.
C. Tag five of your friends and ask them to give you a Free View of their desktop as well.
D. Add your name to this list of Free Viewers with a link pointing directly to your Desktop Free View post to promote it to succeeding participants.
Ronnie - I Set No Corner
Thess- Thesserie
Rebecca - Skippy Heart
Knoizki - A Dialogue With K
Beng - Kauderwelch-domlawrenceOSB-bluepanjeet™ OTWOMD™
Marie @ Vanidosa Marie and Vanidosa at blogspot
Ems @ Just Let Go and Pieces of Me
Yen @ Me and Mine, Little Peanut
Aggie - Mommy Talks.Wife Stories.Girl Speak
Alpha - my blog
Jane - My Joys
Jody - Scribbles of my Life
Cynch - Marital Bliss
Haze - Mommy Haze

I'm tagging: Colby, Van, Jenny, Mama Meeya and Kerol! send some love if you've answered this so that i could check out your blogs.

it sucks

when you have tons of ideas in your head that you can write about but they're quite stubborn and chose to just stay there in your head?

so now i'm stuck with a bunch of ideas that won't come out. how painful can that get?

and, while hearing certain songs in my playlists, short stories flood my head and i can't seem to finish the story because as soon as i open word, the story slowly disappears.

why???

i hate having writer's block.

giddy with excitement

most definitely!!

2 days to go and, after all the waiting and drama, stardust is here!!

to those i made kulit, manonood tayo!! as in!! :D

my name is...

if you ask kyle what's his name, he'll gladly answer:

Kyle Hum

bwahahaha!

a bunch of thanks

sending out my love and thanks to those who greeted me yesterday:

aishi, ple, cj, keh, roscel, carla, kuya k, ate nina, migs, kuya vincent, momi, kuya ejeck, magsy, anne, bassy, chip, allen, shei, tatay russell, zha, jerome, em, kate, kuya butch, the accounting girls, chu, mec, may, kerol, melvin, wachow, nard, kristine, jago, jackie, carl, even those from facebook, friendster, multiply and jobstreet haha. of course to my little boys - keon and kyle, mama - for calling me her rosebud again (don't ask why) and dada for calling me bulate again! and to the kid's nannies.

if i fail to mention you, blame the sedatives when i was giving birth.

thank you thank you thank you for making me happy and enjoying my 26th year of existence in this world. until the next celebration!!

oh and it's settled: when i hit 30, i'll be having a jollibee party. no kidding. be there!! :D

oi attack!

that's tonji on guitars and kuya k on drums! galing nila!!

the outlaws gig at purple haze last friday. in support of brad tonji and his gang. advance bday celebration. actually i was celebrating the past week. now time to settle down and get back to really working.

i had so much fun!! and i was able to finish 3 bottles of smb light and i wasn't even tipsy, yey for me. haha

still waiting for pics from saturday. was too busy to have fun that we didn't have enough pictures to cam whore at all. :D

thanks to those who greeted me!! the day's not yet over so i'll make the roll call tomorrow.

hugs to all of you and to those who were there who celebrated with me last saturday.

sa uulitin!!

here's to being 26!!

my first formal event for the year

nard and kristine's ting hun (chinese engagement) party | Sept. 23, 2007 | weddding will be in Sept 2008 (i'm not sure of the date)

and the first time i wore a dress, in a long time. haha

everyone looked so nice! the ones missing are jago, jackie, franco and trisha. we'll see you guys in december! :D

aishi looks so gwapo, although he's so thin in that picture. my stressed-out hubby..

i'm just bummed

because i have been out of touch with people. my line got cut, totally forgot to pay the bills - my bad actually. and this is what i get. but i had my reasons really, pay the phone bills or the kids won't have their medicines. i chose the latter, of course. it's more important.

i just miss texting people.

and it's too dyahe to borrow someone's phone so that i could text aishi for whatever.

and my prepaid ran out of load, so there. and i'm too lazy to look for those reloading stations.

i miss my line!!!

on the upside, i'll be paying my phone bills hopefully this saturday - if i have the time

mergers and acquisitions

apparently yahoo! had acquired mybloglog and now merges your yahoo account to this. got quite stumped for a while then got the hang of it. got a bit scared too that maybe the communities i'm in got lost. but thank god it didn't.

funny how yahoo and google are competing against each other in acquiring a lot of independent sites and applications and make it their own or part of their services. amazing!

imagine the money that was shelled out to get them?

now if that happens to our site in the future, which our boss has been praying for - he's wishing/praying to be the next youtube. imagine the possibilities and one of my dreams coming true!!

wish wish wish!!

terrible twos

I called home to check up on how the boys are doing and I asked kyle’s nanny if I could talk to him, our conversation goes like this:

Me: hi kyle! What are you doing?

Kyle: mommy! Mommy!

Me: what are you doing? Where’s keon?

Kyle: gibberish. Keon iping (sleeping) gibberish again

Me: keon’s sleeping? Are you looking after him?

Kyle: mommy mommy uh-uh. Gibberish again. Keon dede

Me: so keon drank his milk na. how about you?

Kyle: no no

Me: why? Don’t you like your milk?

Kyle: gibberish. No dede

Me: ok no dede for you. Eat your dinner later ok?

And then I realized I was talking to his nanny already.

I guess he got bored talking to me because I was asking him a lot of questions.

~~

We’re still struggling with project potty training. And my little boy is still scared when he sees the toilet bowl and even those kiddie potty seats. So I guess we’ll have to endure a few months and days of diapers and wet beds.

He’s not yet ready. Haaay…

~~

Last night we were watching Hannibal rising when I told kyle that he has to go to bed already considering he was cranky already and crying for no reason at all. I asked his nanny if she could put him to sleep while I finish the big mac I was eating. But since kyle was bratty already. He chose to sit beside me while I prepared to eat the burger. I was telling him he has to go to bed now and to stop moving around and disturbing his uncle. Out of anger I guess, because I was telling him to stop, he grabbed half of the burger and almost threw it at me! Good thing his hands got covered in the mayo and the relish that all he could do was drew back his hand and utter: eeew.

I was half mad half stifling my laughter for what he did. I really couldn’t stay mad at my little boy. It was too cute to watch.

~~

my boys...

i've been quite stressed out lately that it feels like i didn't get to spend my usual time with my kids. blame work, issues whatever, it still boils down to the fact that my kids missed me and i missed them. and in the past weeks that i was going home late and seeing them sleeping peacefully makes me sad.

yeah it's hard raising and taking care of two kids and their nannies while worrying about work too.

i'm still not over the fact that kyle's 2 and keon's going to celebrate his first birthday in a few months! it still feels like i just gave birth two months ago to these boys. the way they're growing up it seems i should cut down on their vitamins (joke)

i seem to be neglecting their milestones which i should've blogged about. but what did i blog about? anything besides them. so sad. :( so here we go...

kyle's been really expressive now with a few sprinkles of his own language which i try to decipher and pretend to know. when he speaks i have to process it for a few minutes then try to find the nearest sounding word. he's quite the chatterbox now, which my mom reminds me that he was like me when i was two, just a few notches higher. he's forming sentences now like: mommy, open please or daddy, wake up dede please or he'll get my dad's hands and order him to go up the stairs with him. and yes, my little boy of two has manners. he now knows how to say please and thank you. and he prays at night too, with matching goobye wave and flying kiss to jesus. he now knows how to count from 1-10 and he's abc's are a bit improving, but i'm not pressuring him. he knows a few nursery rhymes, can give the equivalent animal sounds of cats, birds, frogs, elephants, lions, tigers, dragons(yes, dragons), ducks, cows etc. he calls penguins happy feet - much easier for kids his age to pronounce, yes? or he has watched happy feet a million times next to cars.

and he's quite the little malambing boy i have ever met - or maybe he's just clingy and a momma's boy. but hey, i'm not complaining. he still loves sleeping on top of me, even if i have a hard time breathing, but if it makes him sleep, all the better. and did i mention that he stills smells like a baby? all sweaty and dirty, he still smells like a baby.

now my little chuchi bear keon, at 7 months, he's quite the happy baby. quite the opposite of his kuya kyle. when he wakes up, he's all smiles and laughter compared to kyle who's enemies with everybody with the scowls and sour face and kunot-noo (mana kay mommy sa umaga haha). he loves seeing people fawning over him and he's happy to give a few happy jumps and squeals. oh, his squeals are the cutest ever! i love making him laugh by kissing the part under his chin and the look of contentment in his face when i do that. i love it!! he now waves bye bye when we tell him to. he's now learning to sit on his own and he's quite the crawler now, just show him the remote and he'll get it-fast. and we have just demoted him to the bottom part of his crib, he's too heavy for the basinette to hold.

looking at my two kids, they're polar opposites. kyle looks like me when i was a baby, especially if i tie his hair and keon looks like his dad when he was a baby, only whiter. i have to scan our pics as proof.

well then, time to go home to my babies and spend quality time with them. :)

counting the days

is this another week of let's piss off yagie? it's monday and i'm not having the grandest time ever.

i guess and i HOPE it's only for today. everything's so messed up and i don't know why. punyeta talaga. i was hoping for a good week.

to think my freakin' birthday is just around the corner. i can see the number 26 peeking. no!!! i'm not ready to be under the 26-30 category. not now!! not yet.

but then, i've imposed a i'm-gonna-be-25-forever thing. ask my age every year and i'll answer 25. always.

no, i'm not afraid to grow old. i just don't like the feeling like you're being counted for how many years you've existed. it's like bad juju for me. and it's like when you're 25 you can still be a drama queen, feels like when you hit 26, para bang, you have no right to create drama and start acting like a true blue adult.

for crying out loud, i still play with my kid's toys!

i'll be a 25 year old kid forever.

yeah so my birthday's coming, and this monday's not a good day... i hope tomorrow's better until sunday.

a short story

coffee shop (fiction)

The aircon gives off a steady hum to the usual quiet of the room. She lay quietly on her bed which she had left unmade for the past two days. A half empty mug of coffee on her bedside table, leftovers from last night’s dinner have been her late brunch. A sole tricycle passed by her bedroom window. She stared up at her ceiling and mumbled:

What’s left for me? What am I to do now?

She was remembering the things she had dear to her. She tried to cry but the tears had dried out from two days’ worth of crying and staying in her room. It was still a fresh wound…

~

This was the first place they met, this was where he approached her and asked if he could borrow her lighter, and from there, everything blossomed into something beautiful. This was where they stayed until the shop closed talking about anything and everything. This was their coffee shop. Their little piece of heaven.

He was something special. He treated her like a queen even if she didn’t ask for it. She didn’t have to ask for anything, he gave her what she wanted as long as he can provide. Everyday spent with him was bliss. There was never a rainy day in their perfect weather. It was always warm and fuzzy, like a comforting sip of hot chocolate. That was what he was, her comfort. When she needed company in her unit, he was there without question. He would just hug her until she fell asleep in his arms and wake up to his morning kisses and tickles.

Those were the memories of 2 years being with him. All of a sudden, something’s changed. They were picking fights here and there, from the littlest things like how she keeps the candy wrappers in her bag instead of throwing it. How he would not wash the dishes after, those little things. He wouldn’t sleep over anymore. The movies, the dates, the coffee sessions, the moments of just sitting beside each other in that coffee shop became more of a ritual than of a habit which one of them became tired of.

~

Flashback to two nights ago… they were in their usual spot in their favorite coffee shop not to far from her condo unit.

We need to talk .. he said with a face she can’t decipher. This doesn’t look good, she thought.

Why what’s wrong? Is this about us? Did I do something to make you feel this way? She was fighting back the tears, she knew where this was leading to. It’s over. She thought sadly.

I’ve been meaning to tell it to you but I jut don’t know where to start. He held her hand and continued I made a mistake, and I didn’t mean to hurt you.

What? What mistake? She was confused. Where is this leading to? She wondered.

He looked into her eyes, tears were starting to fall from his. I got someone pregnant. It was one drunken night of mistakes and I don’t know… he couldn’t continue. She was crying her eyes out. Suddenly the floodgates had opened. How can you do this to me? Why? Why did you have to ruin what we have? Didn’t we have something special? You told me that! She didn’t know whether to hit him, slap him or just run away and hope this was all a bad dream.

I’m so sorry… her family wants us to get married. I don’t love her, I don’t. but they want us to get married. if only i could say no...

Why can’t you do anything about it? Just like that it’s over? And I’m supposed to accept that fact?

I have no choice. I’d still choose you. You’re the one I want to marry. Even if we were fighting, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you anymore.

But that won’t happen. You’ve hurt me. We can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to see you…

She stood up and left the coffee shop for good. Pieces of her broken heart will remain in that coffee shop forever. She didn’t look back even if she could still hear him calling after her.

She went back to her pad and locked herself in her room. She didn’t have the energy to even call her bestfriend. She wanted to be alone.

~
Back to the present day…

She lay quietly on her bed which she had left unmade for the past two days. A half empty mug of coffee on her bedside table, leftovers from last night’s dinner have been her late brunch. A sole tricycle passed by her bedroom window. She stared up at her ceiling and mumbled:

What am I to do now? How will I tell him I’m carrying his child too?

~

move over friendster...

i have found a new love...

i'm now a facebook addict. it's so fun! you gus should try it out too and add me up. :)

updating my visual DNA

i did one sometime may 2007, but i made a few changes but the over-all assessment, it's still the same and spot on with my personality.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

and added a few wishes too

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

birthday/xmas wishlist

since my birthday's 11 days from now and xmas is just around the corner, might as well make public my wishlist. it would be great if i could get this from people who love me (hint hint hehe) or one of these days i'll be able to purchase them with my own money.

on with the list:

1. the simplest of all, i really want to have my own koosh ball, and in shades of blue and purple please! :) - don't you just find them really fun to play with? one of the old school ways to let go of stress. and the sosyal version of sipa. diba?

2. a starbucks mug, i really want to own lots and lots of those mugs! and tumblers too.

3. a supply of ben and jerry's ice cream, and special mention to the chunky monkey variant yummy! :) - happy food for my tummy!

4. a nike imara spin watch in purple - don't you just love looking at it?

5. a copy of the original dvd of neverwhere the series - along with all the books and graphic novels of neil gaiman.

6. purple hi top chuck taylors - yes, again, in purple can't you see a pattern?

7. canon ixus 75 digicam - for those camwhoring moments with friends, aishi and the kids.

8. adidas jacket - one originals and the other adidas pilipinas - super nice and super pricey. and it would be great if the originals come in purple/lilac too! :)

and this list will keep on getting longer and longer...

for someone?

i just love what this song means :)

Flat Tire

So tough
I didn't even wanna chew
Your lies were the best I ever knew
New car new clothes
New attitude
You were always in the headlines weren't you

You better slow down
They're draggin' your name all over this town
No luck
Always in second place
A flat tire on the road to a better place
And you know
There's some things that you can't deny
That you were always on the run with some other guy
You better slow down
They're draggin' your name all over this town
What comes around goes around

The truth is gonna come out
And I'll be the first to open my mouth
But who is gonna treat you right?
You better know tonight
The truth is gonna take place
And I'll be the first one savin' my face
But who is gonna love you more?
No one ever knows for sure
Who

19 things to say to your children

inspiring :) makes you want to come home to your kids and say these right now.

NINETEEN SOMETHINGS TO SAY TO CHILDREN

1. I love you! There is nothing that will make me stop loving you. Nothing you could do or say or think will ever change that.

2. You are amazing! I look at you with wonder! Not just at what you can do,but who you are. There is no one like you. No one!

3. It's all right to cry. People cry for all kinds of reasons: when they are hurt, sad, glad, or worried; when they are angry, afraid, or lonely. Big people cry too. I do.

4. You've made a mistake. That was wrong. People make mistakes. I do. Is it something we can fix? What can we do? It's all over. You can start fresh. I know you are sorry. I forgive you.

5. You did the right thing. That was scary or hard. Even though it wasn't easy, you did it. I am proud of you; you should be too.

6. I'm sorry. Forgive me. I made a mistake.

7. You can change your mind. It's good to decide,but it is also fine to change.

8. What a great idea! You were really thinking!How did you come up with that? Tell me more. Your mind is clever!

9. That was kind. You did something helpful and thoughtful for that person.That must make you feel good inside. Thank you!

10. I have a surprise for you. It's not your birthday. It's for no reason at all. Just a surprise, a little one, but a surprise.

11. I can wait. We have time. You don't have to hurry this time.

12. What would you like to do? It's your turn to pick. You have great ideas. It's important to follow your special interests.

13. Tell me about it. I'd like to hear more. And then what happened?I'll listen.

14. I'm right here. I won't leave without saying good-bye. I am watching you. I am listening to you.

15. Please and Thank You. These are important words. If I forget to use them, will you remind me?

16. I missed you. I think about you when we are not together!

17. Just try. A little bit. One taste, one step.You might like it.Let's see. I'll help you if you need it. I think you can do it.

18. I'll help you. I heard you call me, here Iam. How can I help you?If we both work together, we can get this done. I know you can do it by yourself,but I'm glad to help since you asked.

19. What do you wish for? Even if it's not yet time for birthday candles and we don't have a wishbone, it's still fun to hear about what you wish for, hope for, and dream about

-- Author Unknown

horoscope time

The Bottom Line
Spend a little time on friends -- and a little money on yourself! You'll be glad.
In Detail
The strict regimen you've been on lately may have yielded some impressive results in business or school work, but it's also left you with a lot less time to just relax and be you. So today, give yourself a bit of a break to slow down and enjoy the benefits of all your hard work. Spend a little time on friends -- and a little money on yourself! Isn't there something you've been wanting to do but haven't had the time? Make the time today. You will be glad you did.

~~
sure, i got lots of friends... and i do get to spend time with them it's the money i'm worried about! haha and my birthday's coming.

what to do? what to do?

~~
i guess i'll have to create a birthday wishlist. in the hopes that even one of those things on the list will be given to me. :)

something's brewing...

i found the perfect getaway for aishi and i on our anniverasry!! yipee!!

and i'm not telling after it happens. sayang naman ang semi-secret di ba?

:D

kikay mode

i'm thinking of coloring my hair red.... no that firey red though, just red-ish? basta when the sunlight hits my hair you'll see it damn red! (haha may damn pa eh no?) will it look ok on me? :) honestly. or else, i might go purple kung malakas ang trip ko. hahaha joke!

i haven't been religious in using my olay total effects and, my skin has dried up! i'm so sorry skin! will not miss our olay sessions again. :) now for that perfect eye cream..

i'm sooo tempted to try out that skin care line by belo. in fairness nadala ako sa advertising strategy, feeling ko tuloy i'm going to look like zhazha hahaha you wish yagie!! haha :P

so true...

it’s hard to build a community around mundane and mediocre crap no matter how hard you try.
- Guy Kawasaki

things you learn about social media and social networking, in general, this works for anything and everything: from people to products. the question is, will they get it?

sorry just ranting about work related stuff... research has gotten into me. :) just doing some mental blabbing...

DISCLAIMER: do not take things too literally... these are ramblings. period.

touch me

i want...

image taken from http://techiediva.blogs.com/

stop. enough.

since kyle's in the terrible/terrific twos now, he's been quite vocal about what he wants and feels. although there are times when he stills loses focus in letting out his emotions. can't blame him, he's still young and learning the ropes of life on his on and with me.

so anyway, i've been reprimanding him for bad behavior like pushing his cousin when he wants to get a certain toy or forgets to share. there was this one time where i called his attention and in the middle of my reprimand, he faced me and said: "stop" "enough" with matching finger pointing, the way i do it when i call his attention.

i didn't know what to to. i was stumped. i was caught in the middle of laughing or getting more angry for what he did. being the mom, and not wanting to show that i was pahiya, i just told him that only mommy can do that if he does something wrong. (i was left with nothing to say anymore!) good thing though he did stop from being naughty.

marunong na lumaban anak ko... but it still makes me so proud, it makes my heart burst. what more when he knows more words and can communicate properly? the endless conversations and arguments we could share.

all is quiet

sudden change of events. somehow, it became calm and peaceful after getting a good night's sleep minus hubby's hugs and my not-so subtle hints for some cuddling. but i let it pass. we went through a tornado the past weeks. and now i guess the storm has passed and logically, things will be peaceful - i hope.

and borrowing kerol's ym status yesterday, i need to align my chi.

and i can't wait to meet up with her and ple for some affirmation and maybe a little deliberation on the things that happened the past week. for some weird reason, everybody i know was having a messed-up week. and spirits were a bit low. hopefully the wheel has turned and we can return to our happy, normal selves again. and take the days one at a time.

it sure was hell. and i pray it will never happen again.

it's hard to pick up pieces of myself then have it blown away again.

and thank god for chocolates - my happy food.

to those who sent some love even if i didn't give out any clues as to what really happened, thank you for understanding and for not trying to fish it out of me. your cyber hugs helped a lot.

back to regular programming then? :)

i feel bad and i just don't want to talk about it because it has been haunting me since last night...

and it still gives me the shivers

and scares me like hell

and makes me feel that what i did wasn't good enough even if i raked my brain for what if ad what could have beens...

i'm just sad today and i don't know when i will feel better.

i don't want to think that i'm a failure, at everything.

:(

rach's birthday dinner

celebrated her birthday @ texas steakhouse in bonifacio high street. the place is soooo posh!!

the sad part though was i didn't get to go to fully booked. but there will be a next time :D

for pictures, hop on over to cj's multiply :)

must be my hormones acting up again

something inside me is stirring and i can't pinpoint what. i feel myself sad, alone, aloof but deep inside i know i shouldn't be. why should i? we may be on unstable financial grounds right now but that's a little problem considering that i have a loving family and kids that are overflowing with unconditional love.

i don't want to dwell on the storm that we had the past few days - kyle and keon getting sick, kyle almost falling victim to pneumonia, all because of the construction in front of our house. it just makes me feel bad remembering those sleepless nights hearing them cough and waking up crying. it's done. and the kids are well and happy.

i guess it's just the hormones acting up.

i'm drowning in a lot of emotions that i really do not want to feel. i just want to be calm and happy. i shouldn't be paranoid about little things, about things not worrying about. no no no. i have been surrounded with a lot of drama lately and i think i deserve to be really happy, inside and out. and i guess not only me but my family as well.

i guess it's just the hormones acting up again and i'm going to have my period soon.

i just hate these days... PMS sucks.

i'm just pissed today.

i should've handled it myself than let this sss loan thing ROT in our HR/Accounting. if i didn't follow up, i wouldn't be informed that I SHOULD be the one to handle my loan. if i was INFORMED earlier then i should've gotten the money 2 weeks earlier than let a month roll by without anything...

nakakabad trip kayo eh!! i need that money. it's not for me, it's for the kids!!

sheesh!!!!!

incompetent little ____ ...

well well well...

funny, this fate thing..

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)[?]
The Bottom Line
Your routine will get severely disrupted today, but just try to go with the flow.
In Detail
Your routine will get disrupted today, which will get on your nerves more than it probably should. You've been on such a nice roll for so long that this new turn of events is disrupting your flow and making you cranky. The best approach for this level of frustration is to not try to get things back the way you want them. It's too late for that. No, the best approach is to take a deep breath and just go with the flow. An adventure is right around the corner.

~
yup did that.

kerol!! this horoscope thing is really freaky man! hahahaha

thank you!

to kerol, daiz, may and miss yosi girl - thank you for sendin your love. i know we have been in the same boat one way or another. and up, we did get our hearts hurt, but we emerged stronger and in all honesty, we were more bitchy in a good way.

at least there's something we learned- walang mapapala ang mga umaasang kumabit sa mga asawa natin. hahaha belat sila.

hugs to you guys! and to those who will send more love.

thank you!! <3

to this girl:
alam mo, mabait kasi ang asawa ko sa lahat. wag mong isipin na special ka sa kanya, maasikaso talaga ang asawa ko hindi ka ba nagugulat na pag magtext ka eh hindi ka niya sinasagot? get the hint naman, unless slow ka lang talaga... ang dami namang lalaki dyan na single, bakit aasa ka pa na magkaka-feelings sa iyo ang asawa ko? physically, you're not even pretty. no chance at all my dear. live with it. unless gusto mo maulit yung ginawa ko dati... i still know your number...

i decided..

after all the things that i have discovered last saturday, i decided to keep silent and pray instead that this will pass and hopefully i was just paranoid. the first few hours, i was nursing a bad mood and a semi-broken heart. but i thought about it and prayed that this was nothing for me to worry about at all and this person will not and can not ruin what we have built and established.

i admit i was really hurt when i saw the messages, but in perspective, it seems this person was the only one trying to make a connection or even insisting that there's something going on. i have full trust. i know he isn't doing anything to hurt me even if i try to drop subtle hints. with the assurance i got. i am calm but not contented. yet.

but if ever i see this again, i will resort to what miss yosi girl did... i too can ruin someone's life too if i want to. just don't mess with me and my family. i did it before, but with all the denying and the exchange of words, but i'm ready to do it again if this thing keeps at it. seriously.

yes ple, i decided to keep mum about it. martyr siguro ako, o talagang mahal ko siya. bahala na. we'll see where this patience will get me. andyan ka naman and our drama sessions eh...

the only comfort i have now are my kids who as innocent as they are right now, don't know how much they make me happy when they smile, hug and just look at me at times when i'm at my lowest.

my little boys, you don't know how much you make me happy when i go home to you two. you always make things better every single day. and i couldn't be more proud of you guys.

i want you to know...

i'm sure you know the song in the sony ericsson commercial, where this couple were in a park bench celebrating their anniversary?

well, here's the song:

want you to know

enjoy!!

yey!!

I AM
70%
OPTIMUS PRIMETake the Transformers Quiz

click moments

if smart parenting doesn't want to feature my kids...

then i will..

seriously, what does it take to select those kids to be featured? is it the name? is it the faces?

i know, i know... there are a lot of submitted pictures but then, some of those have been featured more than twice. is there some secret society somewhere that i have to join to just to get my kids in a magazine?

ah basta...

if they don't want to feature them... they're losing out a lot of potential.

hahaha bitter lang po. :P

what's the F about??

i've been encountering a lot of people misusing a certain word and it just well... pisses me off...

people, it's FUSS not FUZZ. these are two different things.

you use fuss to say: "what's the fuss all about" and not FUZZ.
you use fuzz to say: "there's a lot of fuzz in that peach" meaning there's a coating of hair or fibers.

is this some "pauso" thing? pa-cute perhaps? personally, i hate it.

the "s" and "z" are just one level down the keyboard, it's not that hard to reach out your little fingers a little lower.

please use the word properly...

it seems so long ago..

look what i found while currently using our laptop? (yes, at home, still working... such a work rocker..)

a picture of me pregnant with kyle the night before i gave birth... look at that tummy! can't imagine a 7 pounder was in there!! and look at aishi, making fun of my "huge" feet and toes. hmph!

btw, i still wear that shirt as my pambahay. too bad the shorts' garter gave way. and no, it's not because of my tummy. the garter just gave up. period.

next time, i'll look for a picture of me while i was pregnant with keon... but i think i was too "allergic" to the camera then. i hated full body shots. hehehe

anyway, enjoy. and reminisce with me. :)

and now i'll go to bed with my babies. and another working day begins...

kyle xavier.. my little sponge

i'm just proud of my little boy's achievements. he really surprises me everyday..

i took out his brainy baby flash cards and checked if he still remembers the 10 cards i taught him several months ago. and to our amazement, he was able to identify almost half of the cards already! he learns words that quick! and now he can finish counting 1-10 wtih a few minor number skipping or jumbling.

nevertheless, the vocabulary he's acquiring everyday is really amazing.

he's really my little spongekyle nappypants :)

~~

keon now knows how to wave bye-bye! using both his hands.

and he's now learning/trying to sit on his own but still tumbles over.

it's so amazing to see the milestones of my little boys. makes me really proud.

still in the dark...

so what now?

yup, i'm still in the dark over something i'd rather not talk about now. (but you can refer to my earlier posts).

i'm a bit hesitant to lay it all out to hubby since, it might dampen his spirits and would even add to the burden of looking after the family. but in all seriousness, it's really "weakening my spirit".

it's not that easy to let go of something and hoping there's something better. it's not that easy. not at the rate things are going. this has contributed to a lot of sleepless nights thinking it over. have i lost the drive? or is it the environment i'm in that's making it all complicated? honestly, i love what i'm doing now and i'm willing to give everything i got. but the thing is, there's this big wall that i or perhaps we have to cross over. we just can't break down the wall. the foundation it has created is too strong. (kumbaga malakas ang kapit). there's not enough motivation around. i'm afraid that all the efforts that i want to put into this thing might go to waste or even be bypassed. which i hope not, but with the circumstances... it's not that hard to look into at all.

difficult. decisions. efforts. time. directions

where will this all go?

some people are just so lazy to do their jobs... especially if they know people rely on them to make it happen.

they should have told it first hand than letting it "rot" for more than a month. then things would have been more easier.

i love long weekends

spending time with my kids is the best!

there's nothing more to elaborate on, it's just the best!

i wish there were more long weekends where we get to be lazy and everything...

bliss - taken from mama meeya's latest blog entry

as mentioned, i was inspired to blog about it too...

my kids are my security blanket, with them nothing could go wrong. their smell, their touch, their breath, their laughter and tears, and everything that falls in between make me love the role of being a mom.

kahit pawis, kahit amoy wee-wee, they're still heavenly scents to me. sana forever na lang ang mga amoy nila...

motherhood is great!!