i was never good at goodbyes and losing someone...

This November has been a bit of a sad month for me and for the people who I get to spend most of my time with.

I have been working in Yehey for more than 2 years and this year I have witnessed a lot of people leaving the company. They were the people I got to know when I started here and now, they have moved on. Funny thing was, they were almost if not, a few months older than my stay in Yehey. I’m happy for them that they have ventured into bigger things. Who wouldn’t? I would if an opportunity presents itself. I’m just sad that I wouldn’t get to see them everyday, wouldn’t hear the usual banter, the hirits, endless laughter. I really learned to love them the way I love my close friends.

I really hate saying goodbye. It feels like when you say goodbye, you won’t get to see that person anymore. And honestly, I don’t want that to happen. I just hate goodbyes. Really.

See I don’t even know how to end this entry about goodbyes…

----

By far, this has been the worst week ever for us here in the office. Our good friend and officemate, Edison, passed away last Thursday. It was a shock since it was unexpected and sudden.

We were going about our usual Thursday morning. Checking mails, calling up people, minding our own business really. We were accustomed to Edison usually coming in late for work or filing for half day. We kenw this was no different day. After buying lunch from our usual manang, I asked Cams, his seatmate if he’s coming in today late or half day. She answered, as usual. So I went about my own stuff.

Juli came in our area and was a bit frantic. I thought there must be something happening outside. All of us wanted to know what the fuss was about. Then I saw cams, she was crying. Then I heard someone say the Edison died. Today. He didn’t wake up from his sleep.

I was shocked. I didn’t know what to react. Half of me was hoping or waiting for someone to say the joke’s on us. But then I guess it wasn’t. it was true. He was gone. Just like that. Gone.

To think I got to see him that Wednesday night. He was there in his area, busy doing some programming stuff. If I remember correctly, I even asked him how he’s been and noticed that he’s still getting thinner. He should try to eat more. I couldn’t remember what he said but he was in a light mood. Some even remembered that same night, before he went home, he said goodbye to everyone there in the office. Jay was even surprised that Eds bid him bye. He even joked, bakit hindi ka na ba babalik? Unfortunately, he didn’t and will never come back.

It’s a bit freaky knowing that some people, unknowingly say goodbye to everybody before they pass away. And eds was one of those.

We went to his wake this morning and from the moment I saw him there. That’s when everything sinked in. he’s gone. I won’t get to joke around with him anymore, I won’t hear him call me to eat our lunch in the pantry. I won’t get to hear him tell animated stories about his life. And at 24, he’s gone. The tears just fell and I just let them. Even some of my guy officemates were crying.

Although I still can’t accept the fact that he’s gone 100%. It just feels like he resigned. Moved to another company. I don’t know. I really can’t cope with the fact that I lost someone I know at such a young age.

Hey eds, if you get to read this, I’m sure you’re happy. I guess now’s the time for you to take it easy. I’m sure you’re watching over us. I know you’ve heard this a lot today from your parents, but we really are proud of you. You are a great person and truly a loss to all of us. Kung asan ka man, I hope hindi na mainit dyan para hindi ka na pawisan. And I’m sure wherever you are, you get to eat all the food you want to eat. Ingat ka lagi… I’m sure going to miss you… - mommy yags