sometimes i believe in horoscopes

The Bottom Line

Your engine is all revved up, but there's no place to go today. Expect no progress.

In Detail

Your engine is all revved up, but there's really no place for you to go today ... all projects are moving forward nicely, and the people in your life are doing well. There will be no frantic phone calls or calls for your sage advice. So what to do with all this energy and time? Spend it on yourself! This is a great day to go off on your own and do whatever makes you feel connected to the world. If the weather permits, take a nice long walk -- and bring along some of your favorite music.

most definitely, people in my life are doing well. i'm glad. :)

~~

and i may not say this often verbally, but aishi, thank you for not being judgemental. even if i do bash you here in my blog. you don't get mad, still talk to me and still be the nicest person. thank you for understanding and being a person. and with this i gain new confidence to continue writing, because you and the kids are all that matter...

turning 26

I meant to write about what happened when I celebrated my 26th birthday but I was caught up with a lot of things that I totally forgot. And well, I didn’t have time to capture it all in pictures. But I’m not complaining. As long as I got to share it with close and new found friends. I am happy.

As incubus said in one of their songs: “and in this moment, I am happy”

And I am.

It may be a big deal for me to turn 26, when I have been very vocal to my friends that I’ll forever remain a 25 year old. I don’t know, maybe I might change my mind along the way and embrace my age.

Why 25 then? I think this is the peak of my existence, where I could do what I want and not being bound by my parents telling me what to do and what not to do. I have a family of my own where my kids are like my playmates, I could still run after them, be a kid like them, really understand what they like and dislike, in a way, know where they are coming from. This is the age where I am really enjoying the money I am earning and sharing it with the people I believe deserve to share what I have. And at 25 I’ve learned a lot.

So I guess there’s no difference in turning 26. Age is just a number. I just chose to stick to the number I like best.

~

I celebrated my birthday a Saturday, sept. 30 a few days before my birthday which fell on a Monday. I invited the usual people – the boys and their gilrs (4L) minus franco and cj. Of course my bestfriend was present, kerol and her hubby bogart, and the officemates I usually hang out with.

The house was packed with the people who came. Aishi prepared his ever famous chili con, hotdog pulutan and some chips. The guests were happy. Booze were overflowing (4 cases of beer methinks and rhum coke for me and ple).

The party ended around 430am. We didn’t even realize that it was that late with all the jokes, chismis, stories. The last people standing were ple and my officemates.

I may not remember all the details and other preps for the party but all I could have in my memories that these people made m birthday really special. I feel loved.

I may not receive any gifts, but isn’t being with the people you love and who love you back, worth more than all the material things you ever wished for?

And of course, aishi was there to make it all the more special. My aishi really took care of me and the preps. Really, what more could I ask for?

I'm going to sit here and wait for what 27 will bring. will you be there when i turn 27?

update: uploaded some pics during my birthday in my multiply

milestones and the art of parenting

my two boys are indeed growing up. each day that i get home from work, i see them doing something new. and it makes my heart burst with so much pride and happiness.

last night, keon was in his crib, the moment he saw us enter the house, he was beaming and babbling. he immediately turned over on his tummy and crawled toward the net of his crib. we were cheering him on for rolling over but i guess his "show" wasn't over, he wen into a kneeling position and tried with his little hands to stand up. and he did! realizing that he was able to do something new, he was laughing and making squealing sounds. he finally stood up last night, with no help at all. at 8 months! amazing!

although he hasn't mastered sitting down, but i guess he's more happy standing up and being mobile when he's in his walker. he could explore his little world.

and where is kyle when this happened? he was cheering his little brother on for his new achievement. i swear these two boys will grow up with a good brother relationship.

oh but the story didn't end there...

kuya kyle was on his cranky moods again and with the constant "no's" with every word.

while his dada was lying on the sofa, tired after a day's work, out of nowhere, kyle threw this mini table thingy which almost hit aishi on his foot. of course i had to reprimand him for his bad behavior that i asked him to apologize to his dada and he'll stay in his corner for some time-out. of course, he didn't apologize, maybe out of pride but he still had to serve time in his corner which he did for about 30 seconds. i talked to him in my clamest voice that what he did was not nice and that he had to say sorry to dada.

i guess what he did sunk in and he was quite hesitant to approach his dad and say sorry. so i just told him to sit beside his dada and just hug him. aishi on the other hand, told him that he did was bad and he almost got hurt, after that he told kyle that he still loves him and he hugged kyle. and then dada and son are friends again.

i'm just happy that when we do reprimand kyle, we don't have to resort to spanking. he's more cooperative when we talk to him. and at a young age, i think he can already understand. but of course, there are and there will be a few lapses along the way because they're still kids and we have to endure another round of disciplinary actions when keon's older.

and the journey to parenthood is still a long road to travel.

i'm just happy i'm not alone and i have aishi with me on this journey. :)

my first formal event for the year

nard and kristine's ting hun (chinese engagement) party | Sept. 23, 2007 | weddding will be in Sept 2008 (i'm not sure of the date)

and the first time i wore a dress, in a long time. haha

everyone looked so nice! the ones missing are jago, jackie, franco and trisha. we'll see you guys in december! :D

aishi looks so gwapo, although he's so thin in that picture. my stressed-out hubby..

counting the days

is this another week of let's piss off yagie? it's monday and i'm not having the grandest time ever.

i guess and i HOPE it's only for today. everything's so messed up and i don't know why. punyeta talaga. i was hoping for a good week.

to think my freakin' birthday is just around the corner. i can see the number 26 peeking. no!!! i'm not ready to be under the 26-30 category. not now!! not yet.

but then, i've imposed a i'm-gonna-be-25-forever thing. ask my age every year and i'll answer 25. always.

no, i'm not afraid to grow old. i just don't like the feeling like you're being counted for how many years you've existed. it's like bad juju for me. and it's like when you're 25 you can still be a drama queen, feels like when you hit 26, para bang, you have no right to create drama and start acting like a true blue adult.

for crying out loud, i still play with my kid's toys!

i'll be a 25 year old kid forever.

yeah so my birthday's coming, and this monday's not a good day... i hope tomorrow's better until sunday.

something's brewing...

i found the perfect getaway for aishi and i on our anniverasry!! yipee!!

and i'm not telling after it happens. sayang naman ang semi-secret di ba?

:D

all is quiet

sudden change of events. somehow, it became calm and peaceful after getting a good night's sleep minus hubby's hugs and my not-so subtle hints for some cuddling. but i let it pass. we went through a tornado the past weeks. and now i guess the storm has passed and logically, things will be peaceful - i hope.

and borrowing kerol's ym status yesterday, i need to align my chi.

and i can't wait to meet up with her and ple for some affirmation and maybe a little deliberation on the things that happened the past week. for some weird reason, everybody i know was having a messed-up week. and spirits were a bit low. hopefully the wheel has turned and we can return to our happy, normal selves again. and take the days one at a time.

it sure was hell. and i pray it will never happen again.

it's hard to pick up pieces of myself then have it blown away again.

and thank god for chocolates - my happy food.

to those who sent some love even if i didn't give out any clues as to what really happened, thank you for understanding and for not trying to fish it out of me. your cyber hugs helped a lot.

back to regular programming then? :)

i decided..

after all the things that i have discovered last saturday, i decided to keep silent and pray instead that this will pass and hopefully i was just paranoid. the first few hours, i was nursing a bad mood and a semi-broken heart. but i thought about it and prayed that this was nothing for me to worry about at all and this person will not and can not ruin what we have built and established.

i admit i was really hurt when i saw the messages, but in perspective, it seems this person was the only one trying to make a connection or even insisting that there's something going on. i have full trust. i know he isn't doing anything to hurt me even if i try to drop subtle hints. with the assurance i got. i am calm but not contented. yet.

but if ever i see this again, i will resort to what miss yosi girl did... i too can ruin someone's life too if i want to. just don't mess with me and my family. i did it before, but with all the denying and the exchange of words, but i'm ready to do it again if this thing keeps at it. seriously.

yes ple, i decided to keep mum about it. martyr siguro ako, o talagang mahal ko siya. bahala na. we'll see where this patience will get me. andyan ka naman and our drama sessions eh...

the only comfort i have now are my kids who as innocent as they are right now, don't know how much they make me happy when they smile, hug and just look at me at times when i'm at my lowest.

my little boys, you don't know how much you make me happy when i go home to you two. you always make things better every single day. and i couldn't be more proud of you guys.

click moments

things i learned from my kids and hubby

Things I learned from kyle and keon:

- It’s still fun to laugh out loud
- To appreciate even the simplest of things
- That saying sorry is not that hard to do
- Not to be afraid to ask WHY?
- Hugs and kisses are one of the best medicines for anything that goes bad or feels bad.
- You don’t need expensive toys, books or dvds to learn, all it needs is a little imagination.
- Patience is really a virtue
- The more you get mad, the more nothing happens
- Life is complicated because we make it so.
- A smile can go a long way, and a genuine one at that.
- It’s ok to let out your frustrations through shouting at the top of your lungs, then move on.
- Appreciation can be given in the sincerest form.
- It’s ok to stumble and fall and get a few bruises, you can brush it off after and stand up again.
- Imagination can be fueled by anything if you let it.
- All work and no play makes your life really boring.
- If you gotta go, you gotta go.

Things I learned from being a mom and wifey to aishi:

- Never forget to say goodnight no matter how sleepy you are.
- Admitting your wrong and working out a compromise
- To just let go when the little ones have tantrums, give them time to let it out then find a distraction.
- That it’s ok even if I don’t know how to cook, as long as I keep my family happy and contented.
- That even an hour spent with the kids is an eternity for them. And always make quality time with the kids and hubby no matter how tight the schedule.
- To let my kids learn about themselves, the world on their own, with us watching and guiding them.
- Communication. Talk about anything and everything.
- It’s more fun to play with the kids and their toys than to play with the grown-up toys (i.e the latest gadgets).
- It’s pointless to hold grudges.
- Sometimes a hug in the middle of the night is much better than a ratty old blanket to keep you warm.
- It's fun having a debate with hubby and laughing about it after.
- Hubby is the best drinking buddy ever, along with ple (yihee special mention!)

and this list will keep on updating as long as i'm alive

blog block

nothing to blog about...

at all.

blame the darn rain. and the stupid red shoes i wore today which gave up on me. stupid me thought of wearing shoes on this kind of weather. what was i thinking?? taking a picture of it won't give it any justice. goodbye red shoes, you've served well even if i used you less than 10 times and stayed in a box longer. goodbye.. i'm going to miss you. you were the only red shoe i had. will i ever find another one like you?

if it still rains again tomorrow, i'm going to work wearing flip flops. and i wouldn't care if they stare at me. bah.

i just want to go home to my babies and hug them and make them laugh and cuddle under the blankets until we all fall asleep...

rainy days make me mushy... i love it!!

bear bear, hug tayo mamaya ha? *kilig*

mommy and dada are sick

as mentioned before, keon and kyle were sick a few weeks before. kyle with the usual tonsilitis, and keon, we're suspecting teething but at the same time having the usual cough and colds due to the erratic weather.

the kids are fine now, fever-free. happy and lively as usual. but they're sleeping in my parent's room so that they won't get sick again.

except now that mommy and dada are the ones sick and with high fevers. aishi still has fever since friday night until last night at 39 degrees. poor aishi, he was literally living in our bed the whole weekend. i was taking care of the boys plus aishi. unfortunately, i too am sick but still here at work. my fever still hasn't gone out yet but i'm really feeling weak and tired. plus the fact that my little red fairy has visited me. what timing!! i'm just waiting for the fever to come out so that i can get over it. it's so hard to work, take care of the kids and your hubby when at the same time, you're nursing a fever too.

now i'm thinking of sending over the kids to my inlaws first just to lessen the chances of them not getting sick. after all, i think we were the ones who caught the bug from them. hehehe

i'm not sure if i can still go to work tomorrow. we'll see tonight. i'll just ym my boss tomorrow if i can't make it.

i really hate getting sick... boo!

ask mommy haze #1

question from mommy daiz: Would you tell us how you and Aishi got together? For us newer readers. =)

~~

hi mommy daiz! actually i mentioned this in my previous entries about how aishi and i got together. you may read the post here:when yagie met pitoy

a bit of a background, we were officemates before and at that time were committed to other people. but as fate plays it, well, those relationships ended and well, brought us together (cheesy!! haha). of course, we started out as friends and yosi mates. and from there, well... you know what happened :)

for aishi...

my muse went into hibernation and finally she woke up... time to work sistah!

one

i wanted to be the most poetic one
that can bring you to your knees
hug your heart with my words
and see you smile like it was the first time

i wanted to be the perfect one
that can be evrything you wanted
give you everything you need
be with you day and night

i wanted to be the happiest one
when i'm with you, when i'm without
but then a few tears had to be shed
fights have to be won and lost

i wanted to be the one
the one you ran to
the one you hugged at night
the one to light up your face
the one you see forever with

why ask for theses
why do i want to be the one

when all the while i was...

7/20/07
2:22 pm

~~
i just had the moment to write and just grabbed the chance. and voila! yep, i still got the skills to write.. hehehe at least i don't write angsty poetry anymore like when i was in highschool...

last post before i head on home...

was bloghopping and of all things, i saw one where this girl has a bf that looks like hubby...







when he was in highschool... promise!!

ple!! you should see this!! freaky to the next level. haven't shown it to aishi yet. he'll go bonkers too i bet!

update on separation anxiety...

thanks to those who sent their love after i posted this entry. anyway, just to update you guys...

aishi and i talked last night and there were a few changes, he'll no longer handle all the areas up north but the farthest he'll go will be in pangasinan. yey to me and to us! and the longest time he would stay there would be a week or two. but he said he could go home every weekend to spend time with his boys. no objections there as long as he's home with us. yey yey yey!!

quite happy with the way things turned out. god does listen to prayers and little wishes. :)

much love to you guys who were there for me. you know who you are :D big big hugs to you!!!

separation anxiety

not by kyle or keon but by me. separation anxiety from aishi and the thought that i won't be able to see him everyday before the month ends.

now now before some of you might think that we're going our separate ways, well no. not that kind but we'll definitely be separated because of his work. he'll be assigned up north and we'll only get to see him 4 days in a month. worse case 4 days in a quarter. which i'm hoping that would never ever happen. actually him being thrown up north is the one i'm hoping that would never ever happen. but i guess it's inevitable since, he wouldn't be a Regional Sales Manager if he won't experience being in the other regions.

but still, i'm dreading that moment. so right now, since he doesn't have his schedule planned yet, we're looking into other options. i.e looking for a new job that would base him here in manila. admittedly, he too hates the fact that he'll leave us all behind.

i've already voiced out my feelings to colby thru email (have you read it na ple?) and i told her that seriously i don't know how to cope with the separation. after so long, this would be the first time aishi would be away from me and the kids. this would be the first time i won't wait for him to get home. this would be the first time i'll be eating dinner alone and maybe going home alone before i pick up the kids from my in laws. and on aishi's part, we'll this would be his first time sleeping all alone all over again. he's the type that can't sleep alone in a room. he grew up sleeping in one room with his brothers, then with me after we got married. and then this. he's sure going to have a lot of sleepless nights.

i really hope and pray this does not push through until a company calls him for a new job offer. the thought of not seeing him everyday just breaks my heart and seriously, i'm controlling myself not to break down.

i may sound like a baby, but yeah, that's how i feel.

please, please help me pray this doesn't push through... i don't want to be sad every single day he's away...