separation anxiety

not by kyle or keon but by me. separation anxiety from aishi and the thought that i won't be able to see him everyday before the month ends.

now now before some of you might think that we're going our separate ways, well no. not that kind but we'll definitely be separated because of his work. he'll be assigned up north and we'll only get to see him 4 days in a month. worse case 4 days in a quarter. which i'm hoping that would never ever happen. actually him being thrown up north is the one i'm hoping that would never ever happen. but i guess it's inevitable since, he wouldn't be a Regional Sales Manager if he won't experience being in the other regions.

but still, i'm dreading that moment. so right now, since he doesn't have his schedule planned yet, we're looking into other options. i.e looking for a new job that would base him here in manila. admittedly, he too hates the fact that he'll leave us all behind.

i've already voiced out my feelings to colby thru email (have you read it na ple?) and i told her that seriously i don't know how to cope with the separation. after so long, this would be the first time aishi would be away from me and the kids. this would be the first time i won't wait for him to get home. this would be the first time i'll be eating dinner alone and maybe going home alone before i pick up the kids from my in laws. and on aishi's part, we'll this would be his first time sleeping all alone all over again. he's the type that can't sleep alone in a room. he grew up sleeping in one room with his brothers, then with me after we got married. and then this. he's sure going to have a lot of sleepless nights.

i really hope and pray this does not push through until a company calls him for a new job offer. the thought of not seeing him everyday just breaks my heart and seriously, i'm controlling myself not to break down.

i may sound like a baby, but yeah, that's how i feel.

please, please help me pray this doesn't push through... i don't want to be sad every single day he's away...