that big elephant in the middle of the room

try as you might to ignore it and think that everything would be better in a blink of an eye, it's hard when there's this big grey elephant in the middle of the room. i guess for you moving on from what happened yesterday was easy as taking a piss.

it's not for me. i was the one who got hurt.

you can't expect me to say everything is ok when i know it's not. i need time to recover and figure out what happened. let the others say it was just a practical joke.

i don't see anyone laughing. i don't feel like laughing.

i've shed so much tears yesterday. some poeple might have seen me. but i don't care. i was in my own little world. i was left vulnerable and alone. for that brief moment i was alone. it reached to the very core of my being.

i could not describe the pain and the hurt i felt when i saw it. in an instant it felt like the whole world came crashing down on me and no one was there to save me. it was as if they were only watching me drown and sink slowly to the bottom.

i've been telling myself that i know it wasn't your fault but it's hard to erase the fact that i was the one who got hurt from a not so innocent prank. this has happened before but i let those incidents pass. but why is it now when you were not the one to blame, i got hurt the more?

i'm not blaming you for being too kind and friendly with everybody else. but you should know that you can't treat everybody equally with your friendliness. i've warned you so many times, some people can and will misinterpret your kindness and friendliness differently from the way you treat them.

i apologize if i've been cold towards you today, but just give me time to heal and sort things out on my own and i'll assure you everything would be better soon. but i can't promise it will be the same just like before in the following weeks. i've learned to keep my guard up and protect myself from being hurt again.

i just hope you do your share...