Being Single Top Tens by CJ

Posting a journal entry made by CJ. To all the single people out there, i'm sure you can relate to this. For more interesting entries, visit his zorpia site http://www.zorpia.com/cajut
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posted: nov. 9, 2005

I've been single for a while now and I'm just beginning to appreciate the nice things about not having "that special someone." And after more than 5 years in and out of different relationships here are my top ten things I like about being single.

10) "License to look" – Finally free to blatantly mentally undress any girl who passes my way without guilt, remorse or someone pinching my side and throwing a fit. And girls, don't be offended. It's just looking.

9) "B-movie madness" – I don't care if it stars Steven Segal and DMX. Once in awhile I want to watch stupid movies and enjoy nothing but insanely impossible action stunts of absurdly green humor.

8) "The fastest way around a mall is a straight line" – No more side trips to look at the cutsie puppies at the window. No more sitting at the infamous "guys sofa" in girlie boutiques. No more trying on stuff you ain’t gonna buy anyway. It's just go in, buy it, get out!

7) "The TV remote is not a two player device" – Soap operas can go down the drain and the lifestyle channel can croak! Finally shameless patronage of WWE and The Manshow. And I can enjoy my favorite NBA game without explaining the rules 90% of the time.

6) "Why is my cell phone bill so small?" - no more 20 minute arguments over the cell. No more peeking whenever I get a text message. And more importantly, no more explaining the fact: "Just because I didn't text you doesn't mean I don't love you!"

5) "My brain can only remember so details" - Anniversaries, Monthsaries, her friends birthdays, anniversaries and monthasires. Place we first met, place we first kissed, place where I proposed, place where she wants to get married. Favorite color, favorite song, favorite food, favorite church, favorite movie, favorite aunt. Shoe size, cup size, dress size, serving size….my head hurts…no longer.

4) "My only monthly visitor is my insurance agent." – I can finally have my own mood swings and tantrums. PMS no longer constitutes a reason to be bitched upon. And when a girl tells me "I have." I immediately think of drugs.

3) "Movie sideshow appreciation" – I can finally snicker at other couples trying to make out in movie house, because I’m not doing it myself. Its fun really, especially if you catch the guy with his zipper open after the movie or the girls blouse not buttoned up properly.

2) "Who are you with? What time are you going home?" – I already have one mother. Don't need another one breathing down my neck every time I go out without her. No more "reporting to commander" coz I’ve gone AWOL.

1) "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy girlfriend." – I'm a better Christian now. Don't have to lie to questions like: "Am I fat?" "Do you like my hair?" "What do you think about Orlando Bloom?" "Does this dress make me look cheap?" "When do you want to get married?" "Am I the love of your life?"



So there. I'm sure any girl who reads this can easily make their own version of the girls single top ten things. But this is my personalized list. To y'all couples. Enjoy it. But rest assured that the single life isn't that bad either.