what a way to start the week...

another monday has come and gone. tried to do some work today but its been crap the whole day since i can't access my public folder here in the office which contains all the stuff i need to get the work done.

feeling a bit crappy this morning because i started to have a coughing fit and my right nostril is running a waterfall of clear "sipon". pardon to those with queasy stomachs.

then in the afternoon, felt a lot worse. cough's gone worse and the nose has turned into a very wild flowing river. and it sucks bigtime.

tried to coax hubby into taking me home and skip his basketball game but it seems the game is much more important that what i'm feeling now. at first tried to send some hints (yeah yeah i'm a girl eh) in the hopes that he'll get the point. but then went for the direct approach. but still got a no. told him that i asked my dad to bring me home (and still waiting for his reply up to now) still hoping that he'll pity me and offer to pass by for me in the office and take me home. but then still got a no in return. poor me.

as if i'm going to get that needed rest to fully recover when i get home but i have a 3 month old son waiting for me to take care of him and put him to sleep... as if i get the enough help from him when i take care of our baby. he's just the usual playmate for him. he's never done the yucky, tiring and upsetting part of raising this baby. i've been through it all and i think i deserve a much needed break just beacuse i'm sick. i believe this is just a little favor to ask from him.

monday sucks bigtime and worse, i'm sick on a monday...

realizations..

oh gosh... i just realized something today. i have this growing obession to collect these dangling earrings.

oh my gulay...

before it was shoes and bags on the top of my list, now they're the second next to these earrings..

og gosh talaga...

bad mood monday

pakshet!! pakshet ka talaga!! wala ka talagang manners, ni mag thank you nde ka marunong. pasalamat ka at bingay ko pa yan sa iyo. kung tinopak siguro ako, ako na lang ang gagawa nun. sarap ng buhay ng pa-easy easy lang noh? maranasan mo sana ang hirap sa susunod. leche. tandaan mo nde ikaw ang dumaan sa hirap na yan. kahit nga appreciation wala ako narinig sa iyo... kahit sana nung inoffer ko sa iyo out of courtesy eh sana tinanong mo kung ok lang di ba. but no. buong puso mo itong kinuha na walang pasalamat.

isa ka pa. kung magngitngait ka kala mo kung sino kang anghel na napaka perpekto. pare-pareho lang tayong nangagago. sabihin na nating nasa diskarte ito. pero leche, tama ba naman na maghugas ka ng kamay mo na parang ako lang ang may kasalanan. mas malala ka pa nga eh. sa totoo lang nde na nakakatuwa ito. ilang beses na rin ako nagapologize pero para namang wala lang sa iyo. ganun pa rin ang treatment. isa lang akong kasangkapan dito. napapansin pag kailangan. kung ganun kaya rin ang gawin ko sa inyo/iyo? para alam nyo kung ano ang feeling. nde porket may kaya ang pamilya mo eh ganun na lang ang tingin mo. tapos sasabi sabi ka na simple kang tao, eh ano tong ginagawa mo? ehemplo ba yan ng isang simpleng tao?

hay naku, nakakasira talaga ng araw. eto nanaman. sira na ang monday ko, pano pa ang mga susunod na araw tong linggo??

buti na lang at makakauwi ako ng mas maaga ngayon... para nde na kita makita. nde ako makatrabaho ng maayos sa iyo eh. kelan ka kaya magbabago? pag may apo na ako?

3 months old na si kyle today!!

3 months old na ang baby boy bututy ko today!! super happy ako kasi he's developing really fast na! he can already grab some of his toys, with a liitle help from mommy or daddy of course. and he can already focus on things that you show him and obvious na he's really captivated with it. minsan pa nga, nakikita namin na nanonood na rin cya ng tv pag carry namin siya ng nakaharap. sinabihan ko na nga ang yaya nya na since gising naman siya pag mornings, manood sila ng cartoons na eductaional. like yung sa nickelodeon, yung nick jr ata. yung may blues clues, bear in the big blue house (super love ko yung bear na yun!) and of course ang sesame street!

excited na ako umuwi mamaya kasi i'm going to pass by posium later para ibili si kyle ng new toy nya. kasi every month, binibilhan ko cya ng new toy, para bang birthday gift sa kanya and reward na rin for being a good boy. hehehe

kahit paano, happy na ako na nagiging ok na si kyle. babalik na lang kami this saturday sa doctor nya for another check up kasi nde pa rin nawawala ang ubo nya pero unlike the past weeks, eh malala talaga. ngayon ang worry ko na lang eh yung phlegm na nde pa rin nawala. yun na lang kasi ang reason kung bakit may ubo pa ang anak ko. other than that eh, healthy, happy and matakaw pa rin si bututy ko. ^_^

sana 530 na para mabili ko na ang gift nya!! i'm sure super happy nanaman yun when he sees his new toy! iba talaga pag bata, kita mo ang ganuine appreciation nila sa mga bagay. sana ganun din ang ibang mga adults noh?

so so day...

*what a week and it's just Tuesday! *
after finishing all my work today much earlier than i expected, i decided to blog hop. hoping to find inspiration to get on with my own blog entry for the day. but then i was too lazy. but then i thought for a while that i had to... kasi wala lang haha

2nd day of the week and i am not having the time of my life. monday was not a good start but i'd rather keep it to myself than to talk about it here. it's too personal to share it here. i'm not 100% into my work today, and i think for the week. monday was a bad start and for sure the rest of the week would too..

tomorrow's wednesday, i'm running out of excuses and reasons to avoid coming to work late. but i have to do this because i have to take kyle to the doctor and have him checked by his pedia for his cough and colds. i guess this time, i'm coming to work late. it's really hard to juggle work and a sick child and in the process you risk of jeopardizing one. and for sume i am not going to risk my son's health. he's my priority now and everything would have to take a backseat. when you lose a job or anything material, that can be replaced in time or immediately. but losing a child, that would be irreplaceable even if you have the gift to bear children over and over again. i can't even find the words on how to describe it. the closest i could think of is like having this really priceless antique that is really so rare that no replica can be made in any attempt whatsoever. actually my son is more precious than anything else material or immaterial in this world. losing would be like losing 99% of my life..

*3 sticks of cigarettes and a lousy weather*
went down fo a bit of a smoke with a friend and we got to talk, not excatly some issues but if ever it gets to reach some people, it could turn out to be one. which we both hope would not since it could create some gaps or distance between people concerned. i guess the best thing we could do is to just get on with our lives and continue with what we are doing and just hope for the best that things would turn out ok. it's hard to jump into conclusions with issues such as these that are still to vague to even understand. basically it all boils down to one thing that's really important in any relationship: communication. nothing else and nothing but.

hinga ng malalim

finally i can breathe deeply... slight.

medyo ok na c kyle. nde na ganun ka grabe ang ubo at sipon nya unlike the past two days. laking tulong talaga ang nebulizer. nakakatulog na ng mahimbing c kyle. nde na cya ganun ka-fussy. kagabi kasi wala cyang gana uminom ng milk nya kahit yung juice nya nde man lang nya natikman.

pero kanina when i made my usual check up on him sa house. ok na cya. normal na ang intake nya sa milk nya. in short eh balik-takaw na cya uli hahaha. and i'm really happy. =D

tomorrow, check up nya uli, hopefully, ok na cya pag tinignan ng pedia nya. nde naman cya fussy pag pinapainom ng gamot. sulit nga actually. at least kampante kami ni aishi na nde nasasayang ang gamot nya. in a way parang alam nya na dapat uminom ng gamot para gumaling na cya.

come to think of it, kyle's really mature for a 2 month old kid. kasi he's super talkative na. very interactive. para bang pag kinausap mo, he can understand what you're saying. tapos when you talk to him he does not look you in the eyes pero sa mouth mo. as if he's trying to copy how you mouth the words to him. bet ko talaga na he'll start to speak at walk at an early age. before he turns one. super excited na talaga ako when that happens!!!

*sa mga nagpray for kyle, super thank you!! ^_^

mahirap na masaya na maging mommy

the title explains it all...

kahit na i have been prepared for the road ahead on being a mom, iba pa rin yung mararanasan mo talaga. masaya maging mommy kasi ma-experience mo ang mga milestones ng anak mo. right now, sobrang enjoy ko ang mga moments namin ni kyle. lalo na when he wakes up, dun siya sobrang daldal and maingay. medyo mag whimper lang siya ng konti pag gising kasi nagugutom pero pag nabusog na eh, tadtad na kami ni aishi ng mga ngiti nya at mga tahimik na tawa. at two months sobrang responsive na siya compared sa cousin nya na 4 months old. sobrang proud talaga ako sa kanya.

isa pang nakakaaliw kay kyle eh at two months old eh nde siya fussy. alam nya kung kelan siya iinom na ng milk at kung kelan siya mag poopoo. aba pati oras ng pagtulog sunod yan kaya kahit paano eh nakakarelax kami sa bahay. ang technique lang naman dyan kasi eh, pagkapanganak pa lang eh i-establish na agad ang schedule ng bata, gawing routine na ito para iwas gulo. kasi nakikita ko sa ibang mga babies at mga parents nila eh pareho silang naghuhulaan kung anong oras kakain etc. si kyle kasi masunurin sa schedule nya. pati pag iyak nun, depende sa gusto. alam ko kung iyak ng gutom, basa, bored, antok o kung may nararamdaman. motherly instinct kumbaga.

pero siyempre, may downside pa rin. tulad ngayon, may sakit si kyle. may ubo at sipon. nung una (last week ata) mild lang ang ubo at sipon nya. ok naman siya. normal pa rin ang routines nya. pero ngayon, after ng binyag nya, naging worse ang ubo at sipon niya. dahil din kasi sa panahon. init-lamig. eh ang bata pa naman nde ganun kaagad na makaka-cope sa drastic weather changes. kaya ayun, may sakit.

dinala ko na siya kanina sa hospital para ma check ng pedia nya. ang sama na kasi ng ubo nya. as in pag ubo nya eh dinig mo ang lutong ng phlegm sa lungs nya. halata rin naman na hirap na rin ang anak ko sa pag ubo. tapos sinamahan pa ang umaagos na sipon. eh ang batang yun pag natulog eh sanay na nakadapa. kaya pag matutulog na cya, kumakalat ang sipon niya dun sa pillow nya. ayaw naman nya na matulog ng nakatihaya. kaya up to now eh pinaninindigan nya na matulog ng nakadapa.

pag naririnig ko cya na umuubo at sumisinghot, lagi ko sinasabi sa kanya na "kyle, kay mommy na lang ang sakit mo. ayaw kitang nahihirapan eh.." kung minsan titingin siya sa akin na nakakaawa. para bang sinasabi nya na "kung pwede lang mommy.." pero nakikita ko rin sa mga mata nya na pinipilit nya na kayanin yung sakit nya. nde naman cya mahirap painumin ng gamot kasi walang nasasayang na gamot sa kanya.

ang sakit lang talaga sa puso na makita ko na may sakit ang anak ko. para bang lahat na ginawa mo pero bakit parang walang nangyayari? feeling ko parang lahat ng ginawa ko para nde cya magkasakit eh nauwi lang sa wala kasi eto ang anak ko, may sakit. kung pwede lang na wag muna magwork at bumalik na lang ako sa work pag 100% na magaling na ang baby ko. kulang ang 24 hours para tutukan ang anak ko at alagaan ng mabuti.

sana matapos na to. at sana gumaling na si kyle...

*kung sino man ang nagbabasa nito, please pray naman for his speedy recovery..