touch me

i want...

image taken from http://techiediva.blogs.com/

stop. enough.

since kyle's in the terrible/terrific twos now, he's been quite vocal about what he wants and feels. although there are times when he stills loses focus in letting out his emotions. can't blame him, he's still young and learning the ropes of life on his on and with me.

so anyway, i've been reprimanding him for bad behavior like pushing his cousin when he wants to get a certain toy or forgets to share. there was this one time where i called his attention and in the middle of my reprimand, he faced me and said: "stop" "enough" with matching finger pointing, the way i do it when i call his attention.

i didn't know what to to. i was stumped. i was caught in the middle of laughing or getting more angry for what he did. being the mom, and not wanting to show that i was pahiya, i just told him that only mommy can do that if he does something wrong. (i was left with nothing to say anymore!) good thing though he did stop from being naughty.

marunong na lumaban anak ko... but it still makes me so proud, it makes my heart burst. what more when he knows more words and can communicate properly? the endless conversations and arguments we could share.

all is quiet

sudden change of events. somehow, it became calm and peaceful after getting a good night's sleep minus hubby's hugs and my not-so subtle hints for some cuddling. but i let it pass. we went through a tornado the past weeks. and now i guess the storm has passed and logically, things will be peaceful - i hope.

and borrowing kerol's ym status yesterday, i need to align my chi.

and i can't wait to meet up with her and ple for some affirmation and maybe a little deliberation on the things that happened the past week. for some weird reason, everybody i know was having a messed-up week. and spirits were a bit low. hopefully the wheel has turned and we can return to our happy, normal selves again. and take the days one at a time.

it sure was hell. and i pray it will never happen again.

it's hard to pick up pieces of myself then have it blown away again.

and thank god for chocolates - my happy food.

to those who sent some love even if i didn't give out any clues as to what really happened, thank you for understanding and for not trying to fish it out of me. your cyber hugs helped a lot.

back to regular programming then? :)

i feel bad and i just don't want to talk about it because it has been haunting me since last night...

and it still gives me the shivers

and scares me like hell

and makes me feel that what i did wasn't good enough even if i raked my brain for what if ad what could have beens...

i'm just sad today and i don't know when i will feel better.

i don't want to think that i'm a failure, at everything.

:(

rach's birthday dinner

celebrated her birthday @ texas steakhouse in bonifacio high street. the place is soooo posh!!

the sad part though was i didn't get to go to fully booked. but there will be a next time :D

for pictures, hop on over to cj's multiply :)

must be my hormones acting up again

something inside me is stirring and i can't pinpoint what. i feel myself sad, alone, aloof but deep inside i know i shouldn't be. why should i? we may be on unstable financial grounds right now but that's a little problem considering that i have a loving family and kids that are overflowing with unconditional love.

i don't want to dwell on the storm that we had the past few days - kyle and keon getting sick, kyle almost falling victim to pneumonia, all because of the construction in front of our house. it just makes me feel bad remembering those sleepless nights hearing them cough and waking up crying. it's done. and the kids are well and happy.

i guess it's just the hormones acting up.

i'm drowning in a lot of emotions that i really do not want to feel. i just want to be calm and happy. i shouldn't be paranoid about little things, about things not worrying about. no no no. i have been surrounded with a lot of drama lately and i think i deserve to be really happy, inside and out. and i guess not only me but my family as well.

i guess it's just the hormones acting up again and i'm going to have my period soon.

i just hate these days... PMS sucks.

i'm just pissed today.

i should've handled it myself than let this sss loan thing ROT in our HR/Accounting. if i didn't follow up, i wouldn't be informed that I SHOULD be the one to handle my loan. if i was INFORMED earlier then i should've gotten the money 2 weeks earlier than let a month roll by without anything...

nakakabad trip kayo eh!! i need that money. it's not for me, it's for the kids!!

sheesh!!!!!

incompetent little ____ ...

well well well...

funny, this fate thing..

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)[?]
The Bottom Line
Your routine will get severely disrupted today, but just try to go with the flow.
In Detail
Your routine will get disrupted today, which will get on your nerves more than it probably should. You've been on such a nice roll for so long that this new turn of events is disrupting your flow and making you cranky. The best approach for this level of frustration is to not try to get things back the way you want them. It's too late for that. No, the best approach is to take a deep breath and just go with the flow. An adventure is right around the corner.

~
yup did that.

kerol!! this horoscope thing is really freaky man! hahahaha

thank you!

to kerol, daiz, may and miss yosi girl - thank you for sendin your love. i know we have been in the same boat one way or another. and up, we did get our hearts hurt, but we emerged stronger and in all honesty, we were more bitchy in a good way.

at least there's something we learned- walang mapapala ang mga umaasang kumabit sa mga asawa natin. hahaha belat sila.

hugs to you guys! and to those who will send more love.

thank you!! <3

to this girl:
alam mo, mabait kasi ang asawa ko sa lahat. wag mong isipin na special ka sa kanya, maasikaso talaga ang asawa ko hindi ka ba nagugulat na pag magtext ka eh hindi ka niya sinasagot? get the hint naman, unless slow ka lang talaga... ang dami namang lalaki dyan na single, bakit aasa ka pa na magkaka-feelings sa iyo ang asawa ko? physically, you're not even pretty. no chance at all my dear. live with it. unless gusto mo maulit yung ginawa ko dati... i still know your number...

i decided..

after all the things that i have discovered last saturday, i decided to keep silent and pray instead that this will pass and hopefully i was just paranoid. the first few hours, i was nursing a bad mood and a semi-broken heart. but i thought about it and prayed that this was nothing for me to worry about at all and this person will not and can not ruin what we have built and established.

i admit i was really hurt when i saw the messages, but in perspective, it seems this person was the only one trying to make a connection or even insisting that there's something going on. i have full trust. i know he isn't doing anything to hurt me even if i try to drop subtle hints. with the assurance i got. i am calm but not contented. yet.

but if ever i see this again, i will resort to what miss yosi girl did... i too can ruin someone's life too if i want to. just don't mess with me and my family. i did it before, but with all the denying and the exchange of words, but i'm ready to do it again if this thing keeps at it. seriously.

yes ple, i decided to keep mum about it. martyr siguro ako, o talagang mahal ko siya. bahala na. we'll see where this patience will get me. andyan ka naman and our drama sessions eh...

the only comfort i have now are my kids who as innocent as they are right now, don't know how much they make me happy when they smile, hug and just look at me at times when i'm at my lowest.

my little boys, you don't know how much you make me happy when i go home to you two. you always make things better every single day. and i couldn't be more proud of you guys.

i want you to know...

i'm sure you know the song in the sony ericsson commercial, where this couple were in a park bench celebrating their anniversary?

well, here's the song:

want you to know

enjoy!!

yey!!

I AM
70%
OPTIMUS PRIMETake the Transformers Quiz

click moments

if smart parenting doesn't want to feature my kids...

then i will..

seriously, what does it take to select those kids to be featured? is it the name? is it the faces?

i know, i know... there are a lot of submitted pictures but then, some of those have been featured more than twice. is there some secret society somewhere that i have to join to just to get my kids in a magazine?

ah basta...

if they don't want to feature them... they're losing out a lot of potential.

hahaha bitter lang po. :P

what's the F about??

i've been encountering a lot of people misusing a certain word and it just well... pisses me off...

people, it's FUSS not FUZZ. these are two different things.

you use fuss to say: "what's the fuss all about" and not FUZZ.
you use fuzz to say: "there's a lot of fuzz in that peach" meaning there's a coating of hair or fibers.

is this some "pauso" thing? pa-cute perhaps? personally, i hate it.

the "s" and "z" are just one level down the keyboard, it's not that hard to reach out your little fingers a little lower.

please use the word properly...

it seems so long ago..

look what i found while currently using our laptop? (yes, at home, still working... such a work rocker..)

a picture of me pregnant with kyle the night before i gave birth... look at that tummy! can't imagine a 7 pounder was in there!! and look at aishi, making fun of my "huge" feet and toes. hmph!

btw, i still wear that shirt as my pambahay. too bad the shorts' garter gave way. and no, it's not because of my tummy. the garter just gave up. period.

next time, i'll look for a picture of me while i was pregnant with keon... but i think i was too "allergic" to the camera then. i hated full body shots. hehehe

anyway, enjoy. and reminisce with me. :)

and now i'll go to bed with my babies. and another working day begins...

kyle xavier.. my little sponge

i'm just proud of my little boy's achievements. he really surprises me everyday..

i took out his brainy baby flash cards and checked if he still remembers the 10 cards i taught him several months ago. and to our amazement, he was able to identify almost half of the cards already! he learns words that quick! and now he can finish counting 1-10 wtih a few minor number skipping or jumbling.

nevertheless, the vocabulary he's acquiring everyday is really amazing.

he's really my little spongekyle nappypants :)

~~

keon now knows how to wave bye-bye! using both his hands.

and he's now learning/trying to sit on his own but still tumbles over.

it's so amazing to see the milestones of my little boys. makes me really proud.

still in the dark...

so what now?

yup, i'm still in the dark over something i'd rather not talk about now. (but you can refer to my earlier posts).

i'm a bit hesitant to lay it all out to hubby since, it might dampen his spirits and would even add to the burden of looking after the family. but in all seriousness, it's really "weakening my spirit".

it's not that easy to let go of something and hoping there's something better. it's not that easy. not at the rate things are going. this has contributed to a lot of sleepless nights thinking it over. have i lost the drive? or is it the environment i'm in that's making it all complicated? honestly, i love what i'm doing now and i'm willing to give everything i got. but the thing is, there's this big wall that i or perhaps we have to cross over. we just can't break down the wall. the foundation it has created is too strong. (kumbaga malakas ang kapit). there's not enough motivation around. i'm afraid that all the efforts that i want to put into this thing might go to waste or even be bypassed. which i hope not, but with the circumstances... it's not that hard to look into at all.

difficult. decisions. efforts. time. directions

where will this all go?

some people are just so lazy to do their jobs... especially if they know people rely on them to make it happen.

they should have told it first hand than letting it "rot" for more than a month. then things would have been more easier.

i love long weekends

spending time with my kids is the best!

there's nothing more to elaborate on, it's just the best!

i wish there were more long weekends where we get to be lazy and everything...