happy new year!

here's to the new year

so much has happened the past year. some are wished to be forgotten, some to be kept forever in memories. i may not have the best memory, some may have been archived deep in my subconscious that they only resurface when triggered by certain words, events, even scents. but i'll try to summarize what 2005 was for me,
looking back...

january 2005
a new chapter in my life has begun. aishi and i are now married. was blessed with an angel that was born in july. jan. 4, was the first night aishi and i slept together as husband and wife. we started to plan out what things to buy for our room and for the baby. jan 15, heard kyle's heartbeat for the first time. an amazing and unexplainable experience. i couldn't help myself from crying when i heard it. sadly, aishi was not able to hear it. from that moment, i knew i was really going to be a mom...

february 2005
second month of the year... what's in store? still pregnant. happy with my aishi and our friends. feb 5, our first family picture... my family plus aishi. feb 17, celebrated our 2nd year anniversary. feb 18, felt kyle move for the first time in my tummy! imagine our joy and happiness!! still working, updated my status from single to married. still the same at work. feb 24, barkada trip to bicol until the end of feb. a happy pregnant me, the beach, the sand, the sun... truly stress-free!!

march 2005
mar 1, celebrated aishi's birthday. went shopping for maternity clothes, i was literally growing bigger by the day and my normal clothes don't fit me anymore. had a few "turbulent" days in march where aishi and i had agruments which ended with me sleeping alone in our bed and him coming home late. in retrospect, it was a bit foolish, and now i understand that it was just the hormones kicking in that time and i was craving his attention, being pregnant and all. started to prepare my things for the big day in july.

april 2005
was still shopping for kyle's things. this was by far the most boring month for the year. not only it was damn hot because it's summer, it's 2x for a pregnant woman. i was still the working woman that i am. i was still going out and meeting clients in all my pregnant glory. plus points since i get extra special treatment when it comes to elevators and even getting taxi cabs! i just hope it worked that way when it comes to getting more clients. haha.

may 2005
another boring summer month for a then 7 month pregnant woman. everything was going smoothly for me and aishi and our families. there were ups and downs, arguments and making up. food trips, pigging out. and i have missed the real taste of coffee for the past 7 months.

june 2005
experienced tummy aches and cramps and i knew i'm in for the long haul of labor. looking back i wasn't scared. maybe because i have been watching one too many documentaries about childbirth and pregnancy that the thought itself did not scare me at all. i was aware of the unbearable pain, literally, the blood sweat and tears that would go with labor and giving birth to this child. the check-ups were now weekly. hell, i was due anytime by next month. had bouts of false alarms that i had been more present at home than at work. june 28, kuya vincent and ate nina got married.

july 2005
this is it!! anytime soon. the waiting game would be over. into the 2 weeks of the month, i was still at work. follwing up contracts, proposals and what nots. i had planned to go on maternity leave sometime 3rd week of july, i was due on the end of july, actually july 29. but then i changed my mind and filed for leave on july 13. unkowingly that i will give birth that same day. (refer to my birthing story from my archives). from that day on, everything changed around me. i suddenly had something to think about other than myself and aishi. for the first weeks kyle was home. everyone was walking on eggshells. everyone had been really careful. and everything has been amazing. had a few rough roads when we learned that kyle tested positive for one of the diseases from the newborn screening. that was a big burden for me, i prayed every waking moment that he will be ok and the test was not accurate. thank god for the retest and he came out just fine and normal.

august 2005
kyle's first month! going back to work was not on my mind that time. i was busy taking care of my baby that it seemed like i didn't leave any work behind. i was contemplating of going back but knowing the current situation that we are in financially, devoting my time 100% to kyle would be hard. so i took on the role of being the working mom.

september 2005
went back to work. found things at work to be a bit shocking. i had a hard time catching up with with happened in my absence for 2 months. friendships and bonds were formed. people came and went. things changed without me. i changed without them. i was glad that i had my bestfriend 4 floors down who was there to talk to and be the same person that she was. bonding with her through coffee and talking about anything and everything was the best stress reliever. she took away the worries that things would never be the same. but when i'm with her, i know, not everything will change.

october 2005
kyle's baptism and my birthday shebang in one! watching kyle grow up by the day was truly amazing. he's slowly becoming into a big boy and maturing before my very eyes. everything that he does, his little discoveries. the first smile, the first silent laugh, his amazement when he sees his toys. was a bit of a down month. it's really hard when you see your child get sick and no matter what you do, any effort you exert, it seems that nothing is happening to make him better. i kept on praying to god to give kyle's fever and colds to me so that he won't suffer anymore. but being the kind god that he is, he made sure that everything will be all right and he's with us all the way. ]

november 2005
a month to go before the year ends... still watching kyle discover things on his own. explore his little world. had another turbulent moment with kyle again, that moment took us to the hospital, and the experience of being rushed to the emergency room. it felt like my worl fell apart seeing kyle so helpless and tired. again i asked god to give kyle's pain to me. and amazingly, in the following days, kyle became better and from thereon, he stopped having fevers and colds and cough (knock on wood). on a happier and more personal note, the quest began for the 2006 starbucks panner. my own personal mission to complete. having coffee and bonding with my bestfriend is truly priceless.. she was there when i was down and out and hopeless. she was my anchor

december 2005
our baby boy's first christmas. our first family picture. kyle's first solo picture. kyle's first laugh. kyle's first crawl. everything that happened was focused on kyle. he has been the center of our lives. one of the best months i had for this year.

looking back, no matter how depressing life has been for me and for the people around me. there were still those precious moments, nuggets of wisdom, experiences learned, mistakes made that one way or another helped in making us more human and stronger. i can't wait what this year would hold for me, my famliy, and my friends...
here's to 2006 and to the future!